The Great Flood II

Joke ini dapat dari :

In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and
said, Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all
flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, “You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start
the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.

“Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I’ve
been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that
I’ve violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the
height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the
Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power
lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I
told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the
spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls
– but no go!

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was
confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive,
and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact
study on your proposed flood.

I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities
I’m supposed to hire for my building crew. Immigration and Naturalization is checking the
green-card status of most of the people who want to work. The trades unions say I can’t use my
sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country
illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No” said the Lord. “The government beat me to it.”

2 thoughts on “The Great Flood II

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